An Act of Random Kindness

For some reason I have always liked the movie Evan Almighty with Steve Carell.  It is a feel good movie where Morgan Freeman plays God and gets Carell to build an ark.  The plot ebbs and flows, the ark gets built and the good guys win.  At the end of the movie Morgan Freeman writes in the ground with a stick, "ARK"...an Act of Random Kindness.  I experienced one of those today.

I have been the supporter of many - often in such a way that I feel used in the end - taken advantage of.  I realize it is my fault for letting people walk on me because I can be such a wimp.  Many times when I say "no", it really isn't taken seriously because I haven't been a jerk about saying no and therefore have felt blown off.  In the past there have been incidents where I have asked for one simple wish to be followed.  When it wasn't and I held my ground I was labled mean and inconsiderate.  I could give a list the length of my arm where I have looked the other way in spite of what I have said or meant and because I don't stomp my foot, I am ignored.  Today I got a surprise that gave me faith once more in Acts of Random Kindness.

I have mentioned my friends before - and boy, I have some good ones.  I got a package in the mail today from a group of my friends with a gift, picked just for me, that basically said, "thanks for being a good person and a good friend".  On a morning when I didn't want to get out of bed, when the future of where things could go looked bleak, a small box arrives that says "we care".  It was an Act of Random Kindness that meant more that can be said in this blog.  My friends went to some length to collaberate and find something that was so....right.  At a moment in my life when I sometimes wonder if my destiny is to be pushed around and taken advantage of, some very good people assured me that the philosophy of Acts of Random Kindness is neither wrong nor forgotten.  To them I say a very humble thank you.  I love you all.

Acceptance

It has been almost a month since I have written anything.  It has been a busy and thought-driven month.  Have you ever had an experience where you address a problem by first researching what needs to be done, fill yourself with hope that your research will provide the answers you want, and then realize you might just be chasing rainbows that you can't find the end of (don't ever end your sentences in a preposition)?  It seems like I have done a lot of that lately.  I have hoped against hope that some issues I have had to deal with would end up with a concrete, definitive answer of how to address the problem.  All I learned is what I have learned before - there are some things that are just not in my control.  One would think by now that I would have known that - I have certainly had ample events that have driven that point home.  Still, when one hopes so much that things can have a different outcome, but that it isn't in your control to do anything about that outcome, it is kind of like a punch in the stomach.  The next step then becomes obvious.  One sometimes needs to accept things they just wish weren't so.  I need to move forward with that thought, understanding that while I can still hope, I no longer have any need to worry myself with things I can't control.

Yes this post has been enigmatic.  It is really more for a catharsis than anything else.  In the end it really is, "que sera, sera,whatever will be, will be, the future's not ours to see, que sera, sera".

Peace out.