ROOTS AND BRANCHES

As I look back at the first two-thirds of 2012, I realize how much has happened - in a pretty short period of time.  It has also made me reflect, as I often do, on what drives people to follow the path they have chosen.  I probably should have been an anthropologist because I ponder this sort of thing frequently.  But no, I run a tool business, and I think one of the reasons I do is because of the characteristics that were instilled in me by some pretty important people in my life.  I like to think of this as my “roots and branches” concept.

At the end of July I attended the funeral of my 102 year old aunt.  Her grandson John gave the eulogy and in my opinion he did a pretty darn good job of summing up her life.  Some of what he had to say not only made me fondly remember Aunt Harriet, but his words reinforced why I think and believe in many of the things I do.

John’s opening to the eulogy was this:  “To quote Ferris Bueller, ‘Life moves pretty fast.  If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it’”.  He went onto talk about Harriet, what she meant to family, friends, and community and some of his words were especially meaningful, because someday I hope that someone will be able to say the same about me.

John said,

·         “…Throughout all of those years and those many changes, her core values, principles and ideals remained steadfast.  Integrity, hard work, education, community, family, faith, and fun were her guideposts and touchstones”.

·         “Granny could not hear well, but she was a very good listener--when she wanted to be”.

·         “She could not see well, but she called ‘em like she saw ‘em”.

·         “She could not drive well (this should have been in all capital letters...), but she went far and was well traveled”.

·         “Of course today it is expected and customary for women to be involved at all levels of business leadership and management.  But that was not true in the early and even latter parts of the 20^th century.  I am very proud to know that my grandmother was a business pioneer, although she would have never characterized nor described herself as such.  She was clear in always saying she was part of a team that communicated and worked well together and who cared for each other and all involved.  She felt truly blessed to be able to go to work each day and do the things she was passionate about.  To her it was great fun”.

·         “Harriet Fort lived for over 102 years.  She loved and was loved by all in her family.  She had many good friends.  She had a productive and rewarding career.  She had a wonderful smile, a great laugh, a true zest for life and strong faith.  She was generous and kind.  She had an impact on many lives and made a difference.  She did it her way.  That is a pretty good legacy”.

Harriet, her parents and her siblings (one of whom was my father) gave much to many.  Most of what I was given was a belief in myself and my ability to carve my way in this world, no matter how the chips were to fall.  I learned how to stay on the balls of my feet, reacting to many life situations that were just plain hard and not very fair.  I bobbed.  I weaved.  I was able to do that because of where I came from -  my roots - which were my family and the small Midwestern community that lived the concept of, “it takes a village to raise a child”.  I am a branch having been nourished by these roots and it was then and there, on those open graveled streets, that my core values were formed.

My children are now at an age where they are beginning to understand the value of their own roots.  With such a large age gap between my two (13 years) they are in completely different life circumstances and each beginning to forge their OWN way in their OWN lives.  RJ has a family of his own now and it is becoming increasingly clear to him how he is and will be a role model for his sons.  What values will they learn?  I hope the values of integrity, education, hard work, community, family, faith, and fun...  the values that have been passed from parent to child in our family for generations.  Jessie is on her way to beginning a new chapter in her life.  She will be moving to Los Angeles next week and embarking on her own new journey.  Although her teen-age “angst” years were not easy for neither her nor me, I am convinced that she came through them because, all along, she had the internal values instilled in her, just like they were in me when I marched myself through those years.  Both of my children are new branches on the tree.  I am one proud mother to two very different kids.

I understand new branches bud and begin to develop, but for whatever reason something happens and they just can’t mature.  Not everyone can become strong and rooted.  Some branches die completely and some become bent or bruised but not broken.  Their branches take a unique shape but somewhere, deep inside, I believe they too have been nourished.

And so I will end this most current rambling of mine.  Take Ferris' word, look around, and appreciate where you have been and where you are going.  I am proud of where I have been, I am proud of where I am now, and I can only hope I have instilled some pretty darn good roots for my own children as they branch out into their respective lives.  Time will tell.  The roots grow deep.

Past, present, future....

So I just celebrated two important milestones in this long and dusty road.  One week ago I had a "decade" birthday and it also coincided with the 10 year anniversary of my first cancer diagnosis.  I had this plan to write a lengthy discourse on where my life has taken me over the last 10 years.  I will save most of it and parcel it out, because quite frankly, it is a little too much to think about and the flu sort of took over and sapped most of the energy I have had recently.  In 10 years I have lost my father, my son, my brother;  my husband's parents. I watched helplessly as my daughter had to navigate her adolescence without a "present" mother.  I agonized that I wasn't giving enough time to either of my children because I couldn't.

But look at the other side of the coin!  I watched my son get married and witnessed the joy he and his wife felt as they welcomed their two sons into the world.  I have experienced the satisfaction of feeling that my daughter is evolving into what I know she can become.  I love my family, my animals, and the people around me.  I have been given the chance to be able to look back; to have experienced the good and the "not so much" rather than the alternative.

So there is the bad and the good.  Now what to hope for?  Well, I hope mostly for the health and happiness of my children.  As Kahil Gibran wrote, "out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars".  My children like me have suffered life.  I hope that through what they have suffered they will use it to strengthen all they are and do.  I am so proud of each of them.  I can only hope they are proud of me as well.

Blessings............