Today I am a copycat

I follow a man by the name of Robert Brault.  He is a free-lance writer who has contributed to many newspapers and magazines over the years.  I love his way of thinking and how he can so carefully craft words into something entertaining and insightful at the same time.  This is an old blog of his but is relevant to my life at this moment.  Maybe it will be for you too.  Enjoy Robert's words:

THE KIND LIE VERSUS THE UNKIND TRUTH (May 15th, 2009)

"I did not suppose, when I wrote the following line, that I was saying anything especially controversial:

'Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true.'

-- or when I reiterated the view in this line:

'when a friend needs consolation, nothing will keep you so well until tomorrow as the truth.'

But twice I have seen the first line debated in internet chatrooms, the verdict each time being that telling a falsehood is always bad, opening a Pandora's Box to all manner of disaster.  How do I respond to this?  I respond by coming down coming squarely on the side of kindness.  I believe this puts me on the side of the God of both testaments of the Judaeo-Christian tradition, - the God who gave us the Ten Commandments and the God who gave us the Sermon on the Mount.

To my ear, the commandment against lying seems to have been carefully crafted to exclude the lie of kind intent:  "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor."  The God of Moses had no trouble with clarity.  He was explicit in saying "Thou shalt not kill" and "Thou shalt not steal,", these being clear assaults against one's neighbor.  But had He said, "Thou shalt not lie," his law might have been construed to condone an assault of truth against one's neighbor.  Instead, His commandment puts the emphasis clearly on the consideration of our neighbor's welfare.  The short form of the commandment is not "Thou shalt not lie"  but "Thou shalt not harm thy neighbor by thy word."  It is a corollary to "Love thy neighbor as thyself."

In the Sermon on the Mount, Christ spoke of those "who say all manner of evil against you falsely."  He did not condemn those who say all manner of good of you, in the interest of your welfare, be it false or otherwise.  Here is the God who reduced the commandments to two:  Love thy God and Love thy neighbor.  In giving us the beatitude, "Blessed are the merciful...," did He intend to exclude from the merciful those who bend the truth so as not to hurt their neighbor?

I think of it this way - there is a distinction between the facts that we discern as truth, and the Eternal Truth which is God Himself, to whom our only allegiance is owed, and who has provided us the model of kindness and understanding that should inform our lives.  And so, for myself at least, the rule is simple:

"Love thy neighbor, and if it requires that you bend your understanding of the truth the Truth will understand".

--Robert Brault

When is our purpose in life discovered?

I don't quite know how to say thank you privately in a public place.  It is difficult and perhaps enigmatic as well.  In the last couple of days I have learned that sometimes people come into your life and end up having a profound effect on you or family in ways that were never planned or even contemplated.

For the last "quite some time" our family has gone through some pretty devastating things, some many people know about; a couple of issues only a very small handful of people are aware of.  In the last 72 hours there have been peaks and valleys that have left me breathless just trying to keep up with everything.  Then out of the blue.....

A person we have grown close to over the past almost 6 years began talking about past experiences in her life.  She is such a great person with a generous heart - that much we have known for a long time - but she started encouraging some people that are very close to us in ways that we have been incapable of.  It is said that experience is the best teacher and that if you have walked a mile in someone else's shoes, you are better able to understand what they are going through.  For years I believe one of my life's purposes has been to comfort people who have lost children.  When something like that happens to you, the parents who are left behind do not have to "begin at the beginning" of what it really is to lose a child - unfortunately I already know.  The person I refer to in this blog has been able to reach someone we love very much in a way that it simply isn't possible for me to do because I haven't "walked there".

Is it possible that this person came into our lives almost 6 years ago in a way and for a purpose completely unrelated to what she has been able to do for one of our loved ones in the last couple of days?  I don't know.  Everyone has their own belief system but at this point I really think this person was a integral part in the grand scheme of our life and that the good she can now provide some members of our family is invaluable and was planned long ago by something much bigger than we can ever be.

I realize this post is confusing at best.  What I really want to do is to say thank you to someone who has helped in such a big way with such a big issue.  You never know what form your help or comfort might take.  But hopefully you recognize when you see it.  Thank you friend.  You might have just found one of your purposes in this grand scheme called life.