So I just celebrated two important milestones in this long and dusty road. One week ago I had a "decade" birthday and it also coincided with the 10 year anniversary of my first cancer diagnosis. I had this plan to write a lengthy discourse on where my life has taken me over the last 10 years. I will save most of it and parcel it out, because quite frankly, it is a little too much to think about and the flu sort of took over and sapped most of the energy I have had recently. In 10 years I have lost my father, my son, my brother; my husband's parents. I watched helplessly as my daughter had to navigate her adolescence without a "present" mother. I agonized that I wasn't giving enough time to either of my children because I couldn't.
But look at the other side of the coin! I watched my son get married and witnessed the joy he and his wife felt as they welcomed their two sons into the world. I have experienced the satisfaction of feeling that my daughter is evolving into what I know she can become. I love my family, my animals, and the people around me. I have been given the chance to be able to look back; to have experienced the good and the "not so much" rather than the alternative.
So there is the bad and the good. Now what to hope for? Well, I hope mostly for the health and happiness of my children. As Kahil Gibran wrote, "out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars". My children like me have suffered life. I hope that through what they have suffered they will use it to strengthen all they are and do. I am so proud of each of them. I can only hope they are proud of me as well.
Blessings............
